Tuesday, December 14, 2004

I've waited all my life, to cross this line...

Ha I forgot the rest of the lyrics, bugger since this is only the first line of the chorus. The first frickin' line of a chorus, and that's all I can remember. See, this is what happens when you drink too coffee. Or not.

Anyway, for once, this song has no relevance to my post! Big surprise. I dunno, I just feel I've been too uptight in this blog, maybe in my life. As the great guy once said, 'Loosen up, you &$#*@!'

Life's not been too good to me recently. For the most part, at least. But sometimes some things happen to make you question your perception of life, just when you think you had it figured out. I might have start with a little self-introspection. Why do I do the things I do? Many a times I wanted to do something this way, or say something that way, but instead ended up with something totally different altogether. Case in point:

Realli Realli Cute Gal: Hi!
ME: Hi, man
RRCG : I haven't seen you since (insert time of last meeting)
ME: (mumbles) Yeah me too

(interlude)
Me too?? Me f*cking too?! What the hell? What stuff are you smoking man? You have serious verbal diarrhea man. And for pete's sake stop mumbling like Jay Chou!
(end interlude)

RRCG: I'm sorry?
ME: Yeah, I haven't seen you for a long time too
ME: So where are you going?
RRCG: Town.
ME: Yeah me too

WTF? You just said that 5 seconds back!

Oh man she looks so cute I could eat her alive.

RRCG: (points to bus, smiles) Bye.
ME: Bye, man

Be still my beating heart. Ok, that's not gonna happen for some time, but anyway, my internal editor can't believe what the hell just happened. The cool, suave lines that were supposed to come out didn't materialize, instead all I gave was verbal crap. Confidence Crisis! What's a poor guy to do.

What we visualize and what we want, big major difference, period. On a side note, they say singing helps cure mumbling, but as I have no voice for singing (the only reason I'm not slamming Mr Sly harder is because I can't sing as well. Well, at least I have much better diction). So if you have a cure, please be a kind soul and tell me about it. Mumbling is only a good thing when you can sing Chinese and have a bad boy image. Other than that, no-go.

Still, I have one good thing out of this debacle, hope. At least she didn't act like I was weird and sidle away (or if she did, she's being very polite). Hope. Humans need lots of it, being the emotional creatures that they are. I guess that's one of the burdens that comes with a higher intellect, or so they say. Hmm, I guess I wouldn't really mind mood swings from time to time, beats living in the forest and eating bananas and scratching fleas off one another's back.

If you took hope away from a person, their emotional well-being would collapse like a house of cards. In an existence with so much suffering and misery and betrayal and just plain ruthless cruelty, it's the one thing that promises a better time ahead. This world is far from perfect, and even if people die-die won't change, I guess they need to pretend that others might. Ignorance is bliss? HAH. Go figure.

Anyway, I'm kinda outta stuff to say for the moment, so ciao and I will see you next time.