Monday, November 07, 2005

I ran through the rain-soaked night. My breath came in cloudy gasps as I slipped and slid on the wet, muddy path.

According to the address on the card, I had to traverse well over 300 miles in a single night, if I were to have any hope of changing eternity.

An eternity of bitterness and regret.

On foot, in the worst weather one could hope for... impossible.

But I would try anyway.



Just when you're about to admit defeat, Fate sometimes throws a spanner in the works to gum things up.

The twin beams of light were apparent even before I emerged from the forest onto the highway. They weren't moving.

Hope springs eternal.

I stumbled towards the stationary vehicle on the asphalt. The Toyota had the driver's door slightly ajar, a sign of trouble.

Curious, I looked inside.

Seated at the wheel, an old man had slumped over to the front passenger seat. Blood trailed from the wound at his temple.

It was then I noticed the spiderweb of cracks on the window, as well as the tell-tale hole emanating from its core.

I looked around anxiously for the assailant. But of course, he or she had long vanished into the gathering night.

A sound startled my frayed nerves. The old man was apparently still alive, for he emitted a low groan and shifted slightly.

I rushed over, grabbing his wrist to feel his pulse and trying to stimulate him to full consciousness at the same time.

Too weak. The man's time here on this physical plane was growing short, and there was nothing I could do about it. So many things I could do nothing about.

In one last momentous effort, and even though he had never seen me before in his life, the old man grabbed my sleeve feebly and said, "My daughter... tell her..."

He coughed, and a trickle of blood oozed from his mouth.

"Tell her I love her."

He hacked, and this time there was a gush of blood. Even as his limbs continued to twitch, he expired in my arms.

I felt a sense of solemnity. For though the man was a stranger to me, Death makes us all forlorn in his presence.

I checked his pockets. Any personal belongings had been rifled from his person, making identification impractical for now. The robber, or robbers, had gotten clean away.

Then again, there was still the car, with the engine running...

The key was still in the ignition.

A way for me to achieve a miracle.



A little while later, I was on the road again.

But for the first time in a long while, I had hope.

And a dead guy stretched across the back-seat, but nothing could be done about that for the time being.

The passing lampposts played spears of smudged light through the rain, as I kept my eyes on the road and off the doubts rapidly accumulating in my head.

A year ago, I would not have cared enough to make any kind of effort, let alone such a harebrained attempt at mending affairs as this.

But times change. People change.

Sometimes I don't really know the person in the mirror anymore.



I paused at the junction.

One choice would provide the proverbial blue pill. I would wake up in the morning and continue as if nothing had happened.

This isn't your fight. You can choose to walk away from it, away from the hopelessness of it all.

The other choice would lead me ever further down the rabbit hole, down into the madness of my own making.

Love and insanity. Romance and madness. Two sides of the same coin, forever intertwined.

It is amazing how remarkably similar they are to each other.

I looked back at the dead guy.

He never got the chance to say what he really wanted to say to a loved one.

Would I make the same mistake?



As I sped down the road to an uncertain future, a thought that had been nagging at me suddenly popped into my conscious mind.

What kind of robber takes the wallet and leaves the car?

I had no answer.



In our headlights, staring, bleak
Beer cans, deer's eyes
On the asphalt underneath, our crushed plans and my lies
Lonely street signs, powerlines
They keep on flashing, flashing by

And we keep driving into the night
It's a late goodbye, such a late goodbye
And we keep driving into the night
It's a late goodbye

Your breath hot upon my cheek
And we crossed, that line
You made me strong, when I was feeling weak
And we crossed, that one time
Screaming stop signs, staring wild eyes
Keep on flashing, flashing by

And we keep driving into the night
It's a late goodbye, such a late goodbye
And we keep driving into the night
It's a late goodbye

The devil grins from ear to ear when he sees the hand he's dealt us
Points at your flaming hair, and then we're playing hide and seek
I can't breathe easy here, less our trail's gone cold behind us
Til' in the john mirror you stare at yourself grown old and weak

And we keep driving into the night
It's a late goodbye, such a late goodbye...

- Poets Of The Fall, Late Goodbye