Sunday, March 08, 2009
And she looked at me.
"I'd love to see you again, if that's possible."
"Me too. But, you know, I can't really go out with a guy that's, say, ten years older than me."
I so desperately wanted to see her again. But I hesitated, not wanting to let her know my age.
I could simply hold my silence and I'd get to see her again. My heart, clamouring oh so loudly for her. There was just something about her that I found fascinating, something magical...
And so I had to deceive her. But could I?
"Listen, there's something you need to know... You're probably, what, 16? And I, I thought maybe it wouldn't be an issue, but I need to tell you... I'm 25, going on 26."
A momentary silence. "I just thought you should know."
She looked at me pointedly. "Do you really want to go out with me?"
"Yes. Yes, absolutely, I would love to."
She smiled. "I knew it."
"Knew what?"
"That you were much older than me."
"Really? I thought I still looked quite young... aww shucks." She laughed at my embarrassment. "I know I should be feeling disappointed, but oddly enough, I don't."
"And why is that?" Her eyes twinkling at me.
"Because that means you still wanna go out with me."
"Really! And who said I ever wanted to go out with you?" She pouted.
"You did, you gorgeous thing you."
And then she tiptoed right into my arms. Sheer ecstacy, the likes of which had never crossed my mind, filled my entire being.
"I have a confession to make, too. I'm not as young as you think I am."
"No, really? I'd never have guessed." She leaned toward my ear, whispering, "I'm 21."
"And I'm happy."
She nestled her head in my shoulder as I closed my eyes.
I was happy.
Runnin' away, you can't pretend...
2:36 PM
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Love is... giving more of yourself to the other person more than yourself. The meaning of I always felt but never fully acknowledged.
If you don't mean to, you will eventually be unable to keep up the charade and you will hate both you and your other half.
It's really something you shouldn't say lightly.
It will mean the world to somebody.
The concept of 'ME'... turn it upside down and you get 'WE'.
Can I ever do that?
I feel like the old man running aimlessly... and finally off the cliff, like you said.
Forgive me.
Runnin' away, you can't pretend...
4:54 PM
Saturday, May 03, 2008
I don't deserve anybody's pity or sympathy.
Every action that I've done recently has caused nothing but hurt.
Hurt to the one I once swore never to injure.
I am among the lowest of scum.
Everything they say about me is probably true now.
I should run and find a hole to crawl into and hide.
Hopefully nobody will ever have to deal with my childishness and immaturity ever again.
I am finished.
The Wanderer shall forever remain accursed.
Runnin' away, you can't pretend...
4:51 PM
Thursday, May 01, 2008
And I'm wrong again.
I'm always wrong.
I always can't keep my promises.
I always disagree.
I always argue.
I have no self-worth left.
I've given all I can give.
I'm not perfect.
Yes, I have failed you.
I just want you to tell I'm right sometimes.
I feel so alone.
Runnin' away, you can't pretend...
8:24 PM
Saturday, April 19, 2008
*beep*
Activate Terminate Hibernation Stasis Sequence... processing
Disabling firewall protocols... done
Loading communication sequence... done
Initiating system scanning... done
Loading last settings...
*beep*
Critical Error - Settings not found
Revert to last saved file? (Y/N)
Y - Processing...
*beep*
Settings successfully loaded
Welcome back, Wanderer.
Runnin' away, you can't pretend...
5:41 PM
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Sometimes, I imagine the world without you
But most times, I'm just so happy that I ever found you
It's a complicated web, that you weave inside my head
So much pleasure with such pain
How we always, always stay the same
I'm feelin' the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I'm ridin' the highs, I'm diggin' the lows
'Cause at least I feel alive
I've never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I'm feelin' you
I'm feelin' you
You go, and then I can finally breathe in
'Cause baby I know, in the end you're never leavin'
Well we're rarely ever sane, I drive you crazy and you do the same
But your fire fills my soul
And it wounds me up like no one knows
'Cause I'm feelin' the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I'm ridin' the highs, I'm diggin' the lows
'Cause at least I feel alive
I've never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I'm feelin' you
I'm feelin' you
I'm feelin' the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I'm ridin' the highs, I'm diggin' the lows
'Cause at least I feel alive
I've never faced so many emotional days
I'm feelin' you
I'm feelin' you
I'm feelin' you
I'm feelin' you
Oh I'm feelin' the way that you cross my mind
And the way that you save me in the nick of time
Oh I'm feelin' the way when you walk on by
I feel light, I feel love, I feel butterflies
I feel butterflies
- Michelle Branch (feat Santana & The Wreckers), I'm Feeling You
Runnin' away, you can't pretend...
9:23 PM
Thursday, December 28, 2006
"Golf-India Two-Niner, surface-to-air missile!" shrieked a normally cool, collected air-traffic controller.
"What the??" before a ear-deafening blast reverbated throughout the jumbo bet, shattering windows and causing baggage to tumble from the overhead compartments. Oxygen masks ominously dropped as the screaming continued unabated. Strapped in as we were, the impact still felt like a car crash at 100km/h.
"Who's doing the shooting? Who's doing the fucking shooting??" Detritch shouted. I waved him down impatiently.
Amurio slumped in his chair, blood leaking from an ugly gash at his forehead. For the moment, we could do nothing about him.
"We lost engine 4, it's gone," Detritch said breathlessly, looking the display, a bead of sweat running down the side of his forehead and a trickle of blood from his nose. "Both outer engines are on fire, the extinguishers can't handle it. We're losing altitude and airspeed rapidly, Captain!"
I froze for a second, but just the one second. "Cut power to all engines, dump the fuel, we're gonna have to ditch!"
"Dump the fuel? Cap', the engines are on fire!"
"Dump the fuel, goddammnit!"
I grabbed the microphone again, an action that had become all too familiar in the past 20 minutes. "Attention all passengers, we are about to make an emergency landing. I repeat, the aircraft is about to ditch. Brace yourselves, take up ditching positions with heads between your knees and hands in front of your head. Aircraft crew, please assist!"
"Cap', I can't find any fucking landing strips!" Detritch screamed, juggling eletronic and analog controls alike in a bizarre mockery of an ad-hoc symphony.
"We don't have a fucking choice - anywhere will do!"
I tensed, watching hundreds of gallons of high-octane spray from the tanks on the numeric display, praying a stray spark didn't turn the plane into a barbecue of the heavens.
"Lower ailerons and flaps," doing my best to keep my voice steady.
"Lower ailerons and flaps, aye."
The ground continued to advance at a sickening pace.
"Know any good last words?" Detritch quipped, eyes fixed on the alimeter, knuckles white against the controls.
"Hit me, I'm stumped."
"If we make it out of this in one piece, I'm going back to church."
"Don't start counting your chickens, man."
"It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings. Engage landing gear?"
"Fuck the fat lady, nobody's singing just yet. Not yet - not 'til we're almost down."
Even with both of us pushing the pedals to the maximum, steering a crippled 747 felt like trying to direct a airborne blue whale. The controls were soggy and barely responded at all, which meant most of the hydraulic control lines must have been severed by the explosion or resulting debris.
"Cap', we won't make it to any available runways."
"We're just gonna have to make our own, then." I strained my eyes. "See that highway up ahead?"
"Oh shit, landing this bird on that slab of pavement?" A further rumble shook the aircraft violently, pitching the continous screams behind us to a new crescendo.
"It's our only choice."
Detritch looked grim, then nodded. "In-fucking-credible."
As the highway loomed closer, I noted thankfully it was almost empty. Almost.
"Engage landing gear."
"Engage landing gear, aye."
Runnin' away, you can't pretend...
6:00 PM
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