Inscribed On Tombstone:
Born: New Year's Eve, 1983
Location: SkateTown
Occupation: Incorrigible Slacker Real Occupation: Media Student
Herein lies a...
Die-hard romantic
Tireless advice-giver
Certified gun-nut
Lazy-ass whore
Loyalist to a fault
Parody-lover
Electronic Entertainment Enthusiast
Football Fanatic
Conspiracy-theorist Crackpot
Wordsmith
Unrealistic idealist
Self-righteous moralist
Born individualist
Former atheist
Penchant for the melodramatic
Sentimentalist
Quotable Quotes
"Soon the reason is gone, and all that is left is the feeling itself..."
- Anonymous
"The thrill is in the hunt."
- Myself
"Even the strongest have their moments of fatigue."
- Nietzsche
"Fortune favours the bold."
- Virgil
"It is but a shadow and a flicker that you love..."
- Aragorn
"Beneath this mask is an idea... and ideas are bulletproof."
- V
"I have dreamed a dream... but now that dream has gone from me."
- Morpheus
"God does not play dice."
- Einstein
"Einstein would turn over in his grave. Not only does God play dice, the dice are loaded."
- Academician Prokhor Zhakarov
"When you kill one, it is a tragedy. When you kill ten million, it is a statistic."
- Stalin
"In one dimension I find existence, in two I find life, but in three, I find freedom."
- Foreman Domai
"You see, people believe what the media tells them to believe. And I tell the media what to believe."
- Kane
"Optimists and pessimists die the same way. Optimists just live differently."
- Shimon Peres
"Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!"
- David G. Farragut
"You know you are in love, when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes everywhere in the world."
- David Levesque
"Music... the language to stir the hearts of men."
- Shakespeare
"A man always finds it hard to accept he has lost a woman's love, no matter how badly he may have treated her."
- Sherlock Holmes
"He who attacks where his enemy does not know how to defend, will be victorious."
- Sun Tzu
"Without purpose, we would not exist."
- Agent Smith
"I know guys like you, you can do any terrifying thing you're ordered to do... but you have to do it running."
- Carl
"History has been one long series of conspiracies... the successful ones, we call governments."
- Stanton Dowd
"The empires of the future are the empires of the mind."
- Winston Churchill
"One thing is true of all governments... the most reliable records are tax records."
- Eric Finch
"When a guy sleeps around, he's a player. When a girl does, she's a slut."
- Sean
"A person is smart. People are dumb, stupid & panicky, and you know it."
- K.
Song 'O The Moment
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Before I could go on, a presence grasped my arm.
I looked back, back into the ethereal featureless face of somebody, or something that I did not recognise and yet, I knew intimately.
The ghost of my past.
Thoughts that needed no spoken words to transmit their meanings drifted into my mind, and yet my consciousness could not discern between them and the verbal equivalent thereof.
"Please. You have to trust me."
Scepticism. "Why?"
"Because you have been down there. You know that road. You know exactly where it ends."
I hesitated.
"And I know that's not where you want to be."
It was right, of course.
I knew how this would all end, in pain and suffering.
No matter how much I might enjoy berating myself for my own shortcomings and failures, there had to be some limit to the extent my self-confidence and dignity could withstand further abuse.
Yet to give in would be to admit defeat, and to admit defeat without the proverbial fight to the death would be worse than meek submission. In a way.
What do I do?
In my mind, however, I had already made my decision. I simply had not come to terms with it yet.
Even if sometimes, we have to be steady...
I shook off the presence in my mind.
And give up the thing we want the most.
I stood before the doorway between light and dark.
I stared, not wanting to come to terms with my own sanity.
The desire, the feeling of wanting something so badly, the denial of such of a feeling for the fear of disappointment, fear of it being used against you, wanting something so bad but never expecting to receive, the slow growth of the cancer of indifference, of pretending it doesn't and never did matter, the construction of a bubbled cocoon you would never expect to leave...
I could not go back now.
I had accepted the greatest challenge of Faustian terms, and the full impact was only beginning to sink into me now.
She was right. I could have turned away, could have walked away a long time ago. But then I could never have lived with myself from that moment on.
I'm coming.
I breathed out heavily, then stepped through the rift in reality.
Hold on...
"He is brave."
"Or foolhardy, perhaps?"
"Why does he do it? He could not possibly hope to triumph..."
"He does it because he must."
All eyes turned to look at the head of the table.
"He does what he does because for him, there is no other choice. He is not selfless because of an imagined reward at the end of the road. He is not selfless because he is part of a greater entity that will ensure his salvation. He is selfless because he is selfless, with all to lose, and nothing to gain. Some of you would undoubtedly call this foolishness."
A pause. "But I would call it love."
"He could be very useful to us."
"Indeed." Wryly, "If he survives."
Mary belongs to the words of a song I try to be strong for her, try not to be wrong for her But she will not wait for me, anymore, anymore Why did I say all those things before? I was sure
(She is the one), but I have a purpose, (She is the one), and I have to fight this, (She is the one), a villian I can't knock down.
I see your face with every punch I take, And every bone I break, it's all for you And my worst pains are words I cannot say, Still I will always fight on for you
Mary's alive in the bright New York sky, The city lights shine for her, above them I cry for her Everything's small on the ground below, down below What if I fall, then where would I go, would she know?
(She is the one), all that I wanted, (She is the one), and I will be haunted, (She is the one), this gift is my curse for now
I see your face with every punch I take, And every bone I break, it's all for you And my worst pains are words I cannot say, Still I will always fight on for you
I see your face with every punch I take, And every bone I break, it's all for you And my worst pains are words I cannot say, Still I will always fight on for you
I was at the Centrepoint Coffee Bean yesterday, waiting to collect my ice blended mocha when I witnessed what I can only describe as an incredible irony.
In front of me, there was this woman and her daughter, they were waiting for their drinks and cake.
Little girl: Mommy, I want to take the drink up (there's a short series of stairs before you enter the outlet)
Mum: No girl, I bring everything up, wait you take the drink and break it on the stairs.
Break it? Jeez, it's a grand total of four steps. So the daughter is still probably no more than six or seven, but still.
I think no more of this until...
The guy puts the latte on her tray and walks away. The mum leans over to get a straw and the whole drink topples onto the floor, loud crash and all.
The whole outlet simply stops talking and turns to look. The daughter peeps out from the top of the stairs.
In the words of Will Smith, "Somehow, I told you so, just doesn't quite say it."
Newsflash: Mum's DON'T always know best
HAHAHAHA
Ok so that was kinda mean, but I have a serious issue against over-weening, know-it-all parents who either have it their way, or put their kid on the highway.
On a more cheery note, Chelsea get themselves whooped in the ass again
Eventful would surely be an understatement. It's been a year of firsts, and of re-born experiences, at that.
Overall, the score is like a hard-fought 3-3 draw, but since it's my home match, I'm losing on away goals. I'll be looking to overturn the deficit in the second leg, i.e. the upcoming sem.
So many things have happened. I might not have conceded an early goal to the opposition if I had been more defensive in my life, but then again sitting back and holding onto the ball would never have allowed me to pull a goal back, either.
It all comes in pairs - the good and the bad, like so many polar opposites, have always been inextricably linked.
I wonder what will become of the dreams of so many of my friends.
Perhaps one day Derek will achieve the washboard abs and Hulk-Hogan physique he's been working so hard for. Perhaps one day Evelyn's band will make the same kind of waves Ronin's making now. Sean might one day become the new John Mayer. Joanna may one day be designing covers for the likes of Female and Cleo. And so on and so forth.
So many friends having so many dreams, I cannot even begin to list them all down here.
What about me?
Don't worry about me.
A die-hard never loses sight of the objective, no matter what the cost.
Meanwhile, wish me luck.
I have a tough away match in the next six months.
Victory, or nothing.
Did you ever feel like you wanna be Someone else for just one day Did you ever feel like you wanna see Through another pair of eyes Did you ever think I might wanna be With anyone else for just one day Did you ever really think of me When I walked away
The look the dunks and the bottle of Jack The smokes the slouch and my eyes back You think you know what you think you'll find You think you'll figure me out tonight But you'll never know what I won't share 'Coz I don't care, no I don't care You think you'll figure me out tonight But I don't care
And I wonder, if I'm just built this way 'Coz every man that I know makes me feel like I'm to blame When it's over, me and my selfish ways Go back to start again Go back to start again
Did you ever feel like you should have said Something smarter at the time Did you ever feel like you should have kept It all to yourself Did u ever think it might be your fault I never promised anymore Did u ever think it might not be me Now it was always me
The look the dunks and the bottle of Jack The smokes the slouch and my eyes back You think you know what you think you'll find You think you'll figure me out tonight But you'll never know what I won't share 'Coz I don't care, no I don't care You think you'll figure me out tonight But I don't care
And I wonder, if I'm just built this way 'Coz every man that I know makes me feel like I'm to blame When it's over, me and my selfish ways Go back to start again
And I wonder, if I'm just built this way 'Coz every man that I know makes me feel like I'm to blame When it's over, me and my selfish ways Go back to start again Go back to start again
The look the dunks and the bottle of Jack The smokes the slouch and my eyes back You think you know what you think you'll find You think you'll figure me out tonight But you'll never know what I won't share 'Coz I don't care, no I don't care You think you'll figure me out tonight But I don't care
And I wonder, if I'm just built this way 'Coz every man that I know makes me feel like I'm to blame When it's over, me and my selfish ways Go back to start again
And I wonder, if I'm just built this way 'Coz every man that I know makes me feel like I'm to blame When it's over, me and my selfish ways Go back to start again Go back to start again go back to start again
