Inscribed On Tombstone:
Born: New Year's Eve, 1983
Location: SkateTown
Occupation: Incorrigible Slacker Real Occupation: Media Student
Herein lies a...
Die-hard romantic
Tireless advice-giver
Certified gun-nut
Lazy-ass whore
Loyalist to a fault
Parody-lover
Electronic Entertainment Enthusiast
Football Fanatic
Conspiracy-theorist Crackpot
Wordsmith
Unrealistic idealist
Self-righteous moralist
Born individualist
Former atheist
Penchant for the melodramatic
Sentimentalist
Quotable Quotes
"Soon the reason is gone, and all that is left is the feeling itself..."
- Anonymous
"The thrill is in the hunt."
- Myself
"Even the strongest have their moments of fatigue."
- Nietzsche
"Fortune favours the bold."
- Virgil
"It is but a shadow and a flicker that you love..."
- Aragorn
"Beneath this mask is an idea... and ideas are bulletproof."
- V
"I have dreamed a dream... but now that dream has gone from me."
- Morpheus
"God does not play dice."
- Einstein
"Einstein would turn over in his grave. Not only does God play dice, the dice are loaded."
- Academician Prokhor Zhakarov
"When you kill one, it is a tragedy. When you kill ten million, it is a statistic."
- Stalin
"In one dimension I find existence, in two I find life, but in three, I find freedom."
- Foreman Domai
"You see, people believe what the media tells them to believe. And I tell the media what to believe."
- Kane
"Optimists and pessimists die the same way. Optimists just live differently."
- Shimon Peres
"Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!"
- David G. Farragut
"You know you are in love, when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes everywhere in the world."
- David Levesque
"Music... the language to stir the hearts of men."
- Shakespeare
"A man always finds it hard to accept he has lost a woman's love, no matter how badly he may have treated her."
- Sherlock Holmes
"He who attacks where his enemy does not know how to defend, will be victorious."
- Sun Tzu
"Without purpose, we would not exist."
- Agent Smith
"I know guys like you, you can do any terrifying thing you're ordered to do... but you have to do it running."
- Carl
"History has been one long series of conspiracies... the successful ones, we call governments."
- Stanton Dowd
"The empires of the future are the empires of the mind."
- Winston Churchill
"One thing is true of all governments... the most reliable records are tax records."
- Eric Finch
"When a guy sleeps around, he's a player. When a girl does, she's a slut."
- Sean
"A person is smart. People are dumb, stupid & panicky, and you know it."
- K.
Song 'O The Moment
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
A momentary lapse in my concentration, and a routine corner breaks into a goalmouth tussle that ends with the ball being slammed into my net. 4-0.
They have scored. Improbable now becomes impossible.
The world grows ever smaller.
I have failed.
But no! A thousand times no! The linesman is waving his flag furiously, and the referee runs over - the goal is disallowed! Foul on my 'keeper!
My balls are still in my mouth as I cannot believe what has just transpired in the last few seconds. It feels like someone made to stab me in the heart, but desisted at the last possible moment.
I sit down, numbed. I hear not the frenzied arguments between the referee and the opposing team, only the monumental beats of my heart.
And in that moment it strikes me: there is no compromise, no aiming for a draw, no seeking to lessen the damage, no bargaining for an even-handed settlement.
Many years have passed... you did not have the cares that you carry now.
I give hope to others...
I keep none for myself.
Put aside your fears - become who you were born to be.
Is this all a fantasy Is this all in my mind? You'd think I'm foolish, you think I'm blind 'Cos there's no way I could know you No way I could make you mine
But you don't see me cry The window into my soul And you wonder why, don't you even know Can't come out to play, it's all in my head Love's a play that's already made
All this life I've wanted to be The vision of my, my fantasy In this life or the next By my breath or my death I'll be the vision of your fantasy
'Til one day, you found that someone Someone to give your love away The day I thought I'd lost you, I lost my way There was nothing I could say, nothing to make you stay Just a lonely lost soul, aye-yi
But for the future, come what may It's irrelevant what I hope or pray And there I'll be, waiting for the day When you finally come back my way
All this life I've wanted to be The vision of your, your fantasy In this life or the next By my breath or my death I'll be the vision of your fantasy
Sayin' what will stop the pain But it's not your fault, it's mine Some kinda easy way out, you'd think? But it's all a lie when I say
All this life I've wanted to be The vision of my, my fantasy In this life or the next By my breath or my death I'll be the vision of your fantasy
The vision of your fantasy The vision of my fantasy It's just a game for you and me
The world is changing. Much that once was, is now gone.
In the gathering dark, the will of the other grows strong.
It works hard now to find its way into his heart - his heart, which is so easily seduced.
He has but to extend his hand, claim it for his own - and his world will fall.
His strength begins to fail. In his heart, he begins to understand that the quest will claim his life.
It is but an eventuality; he will come to death, an image painted in the hope of men, in glory undimmed before the breaking of the world.
But before his time is over, he will linger on in darkness and in doubt, as nightfall in winter that comes without a star.
Bound to his grief under the fading light, 'til all the world is changed, and the long years of his life are utterly spent.
There is nothing left for him - only death.
"He stays because he still has hope." "He stays for her! He belongs with his people." "There is always hope." "Hope. Hope, the quintessential human delusion - simultaneously the source of his greatest strength and his greatest weakness."
"Let him bear his love for her away to another realm, there it will be evergreen." "But never more than a memory." "I will not leave him here to die!"
"Do you remember what we promised each other, many moons ago?" "You said you'd bind yourself to me, forsaking all else." "And to that I hold." "But the time we shared together... it was nothing more than a memory. A dream." "Then it was - is a good dream. "I-" "I have a gift for you." "You cannot give me this!" "It is mine to give to whom I will... like my heart."
"The human recovers well." "That wound will never fully heal - he will bear it for the rest of his life." "Yet to have come so far, still staying to his quest, the human has shown extraordinary resilience." "He will never be rid of his need for it." "It is a pity, then, that the human did not give up when he had the chance." "Pity? It is pity that stayed his hand. The pity of one may someday rule the fates of many."
What day is it And in what month This clock never seemed so alive I can't keep up and I can't back down I've been losing so much time
Cause it's you and me and all of the people With nothing to do, nothing to lose And it's you and me and all of the people and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say Just aren't coming out right I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me and all of the people With nothing to do, nothing to prove And it's you and me and all of the people and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off you
Something about you now I can't quite figure out Everything she does is beautiful Everything she does is right
Cause it's you and me and all of the people With nothing to do, nothing to lose And it's you and me and all of the people and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of
You and me and all of the people With nothing to do, nothing to prove and It's you and me and all of the people and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it And in what month This clock never seemed so alive
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change that which I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
We faced each other over the remains of our dinner.
All evening, I had dreaded this moment, tried to put it out of my mind – out of hers, if that were possible.
She rested her fingers lightly on the whites of my knuckles. It was then I realised that I had been clenching them all along.
She looked into my eyes. Those lovely, hazel eyes.
For a moment, I lost my self-composure.
When I was myself again, I noticed she was looking at me not with bewilderment, but with a look that signaled an understanding that, somehow, seemed so familiar.
Had her gaze been accusatory, even a look locked in the guise of searching my face for an answer, I would have felt better. Instead, this look of conciliatory sympathy was more than I could bear.
"We can't continue like this."
Her words bit like the razor-sharp edge of a frozen icicle. I felt the chill at the base of my neck grow ever more frigid, anticipation closing its grim fist around my throat, filling my senses with its looming presence.
"I'd say something cliched right about now..." she continued.
"And then I'm supposed to say something equally stale in reply, but..." I riposted.
"But what?" she prompted.
"But you already know what I'm going to say," I finished.
" 'I'm sorry it had to end this way,' " she offered.
Despite myself, I couldn't help smiling. " 'It's not your fault, it's mine.' "
She grinned back. "Always the honest one, eh?"
I felt entitled to having the last word. "The pleasure's all mine, this time."
All the lightheartedness changed things not a whit: it was over and there was nothing I could do about it.
She grew serious. Withdrawing two linked circles from her pocket, she held them out to me. "I believe this belongs to you."
I stared at the rings of stainless steel, shaking my head. "It was a gift."
Then I looked into her eyes once more.
"Keep it."
For a moment, I thought I saw her resolve waver. But I wouldn't have sworn to it.
Her voice was filled with sadness. "You told me once these rings represented us."
"I still believe in that."
"And that we would only part when these rings broke. But now... that's no longer true."
"You don't believe that," I muttered through gritted teeth.
Her gaze did waver this time. Unmistakably.
"You have to let me go. Please. For my sake... for both our sakes," she whispered, almost pleadingly.
"I can't believe this."
"Please." Her voice grew firm. "There are bigger things happening here than just you and me."
"I can't," I stonewalled.
Abruptly, she rose from the table. I rose with her.
"I... I have to go," she stammered. "If you love me, forget me." She stood her ground for just a moment longer, her eyes filled with... fear?
Fear of what?
Then she fled, her receding footsteps a hollow echo in my mind.
For a moment I stood there, stunned by the veracity of what had just transpired in the last few seconds.
I was lost. Should I heed her wishes, or listen to the voices of instinct in my head screaming all manner of incongruities? I could run after her, or I could continue standing there like a fool.
Either way, my choice was ultimately futile. Or was it?
Even the mightiest of desires cannot change the course of what is meant to be.
Almost automatically, I began fumbling around the dishes on the table for the intertwined rings. Something, anything to hold on the memories of her and me.
But I could not find it. Panicking, I redoubled my efforts, checking the surrounding area.
Long seconds elapsed before the obvious hit me in the face.
She had never meant to leave them behind.
Then why had she shown them to me? There could be no plausible reason, unless...
Dear God.
I began to run.
Did I hear you right? 'Cause I thought you said Let's think it over You have been my life And I never planned growing old without you
Shadows bleeding through the light Where the love once shined so bright Came without a reason Don't let go on us tonight Love's not always black and white Why haven't I always loved you?
Oh when I need you You're almost here And I know that's not enough And when I'm with you I'm close to tears 'Cause you're only almost here
I would change the world If I had a chance Oh won't you let me Treat me like a child Throw your arms around me Oh, please, protect me
Bruised and battered by your words Dazed and shattered, now it hurts Haven't I always loved you?
But when I need you You're almost here And I know that's not enough And when I'm with you I'm close to tears 'Cause you're only almost here
Bruised and battered by your words Dazed and shattered, now it hurts Haven't I always loved you ?
But when I need you You're almost here Well, I never knew how far behind I left you And when I hold you You're almost here Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you, I'm close to tears 'Cause I know I'm almost here Only almost here
